411’s WWE Superstars Report 03.28.13

Commentators: Matt Striker & Tony Dawson

Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: The Rock… World Champion: Alberto Del Rio… Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No… NXT Champion: Big E Langston… NXT Tag Team Champions: Adrian Neville & Oliver Grey… Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn

Kofi Kingston vs. Primo (w/Epico & Rosa Mendes):   Kofi goes to lockup but Primo rolls around to avoid; Kofi gets an armbar but Primo rolls through and kicks free. They lock up again and Kingston tries a chicken wing; Primo frees himself but gets hiptossed. He boots Kofi in the chest and slaps on his own chinlock. Kingston fries him off but gets shoulderblocked; Primo runs the ropes and Kofi uses his LEAPING ABILITY to hit a reverse elbow to the face. Kingston applies an armbar and then drops a leg onto it with a leg-armbar. Primo reverses it with a head scissors. Kofi nips up to free himself and nails an armdrag to get another armbar. Primo escapes and retreats to the floor. Epico wanders over so Kofi thinks dive but fakes everyone out. Primo reenters but gets nailed with a monkey flip. Kofi applies a side cravat as we head off to break. We return with Kofi armdragging Primo… back into another armbar. Primo finally takes over and chops his way back; the advantage lasts about three seconds as Kofi runs the ropes lightening quickly and nails a leaping clothesline. He readies for the Paradise kick but Rosa runs interference allowing Epico to attack and Primo nearly garners a win off it. Now Primo has the advantage and stomps away as the cameras cut to Rosa’s reaction. He keeps on Kofi choking him in the ropes. A dropkick nets two so Primo goes to another chinlock. Suddenly, Kofi explodes out of a corner with a clothesline and begins the comeback. He hits clotheslines and a dropkick; the Boom Drop follows. Epico tries to interfere again but Kingston takes him out and nails a top-rope crossbody for two. Primo takes advantage but misses springboard senton; Kofi capitalizes with a springboard frogsplash, for two. Primo comes back from that avoiding a charge and hitting a leg sweep DDT for another two count. This match, all of a sudden, finally, has kicked into another gear… and then Kofi nails Trouble in Paradise for three.   4/10 I fear Kofi may be getting lazy or frustrated with his position on the card, and who can blame him as he was the IC Champion the end of 2012 and on his way up the card with the new “Wildcat” gimmick and now he’s competing on WWE Superstars with no WrestleMania match in sight. For a pair of agile superstars, this match sure had a lot of chinlocks and armbars. The match was exceedingly slow in the beginning and kicked it into the gear I figured would have been in for about thirty seconds. Normally, I never critique effort but again, I can’t blame either wrestler but they are still getting paid.

Here is your winner… Kofi Kingston via Trouble in Paradise pinfall

We highlight the CM Punk/Undertaker and Triple H/Brock Lesnar WrestleMania matches; HHH’s entire promo from Raw is shown as well.

Natalya Neidhart vs. Aksana:   Nattie is back to her Hart pink ring gear as she is possibly the only diva in the WWE who can carry Aksana to something watchable. They link up and Aksana kicks her in the ropes; Nattie comes back with a snapmare. Aksana reverses the advantage and applies an armbar; Natalya uses the Owen Counter but Aksana shoves her down. Nattie counters a backdrop and tries for a Sharpshooter; Aksana makes the ropes and heads to the floor. She trips up Nattie coming through the ropes and drops elbows back in the ring. She applies a chinlock with knees to the back. Aksana shouts at the crowd and keeps on Nattie with kicks. She stays on her with kicks and punches until she misses a knee drop and Nattie finishes with the Sharpshooter.   2/10 At least Nattie is getting some wins, other than that this match was pretty much a boring squash

Here is your winner… Natalya Neidhart via Sharpshooter submission

WWE Superstars ends with the entire Hall of Fame Q&A session with John Cena and the Rock.

OVERALL 3/10 A couple of squashes (and boing ones at that) and highlight packages this week. Nothing special.

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